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Writing Tips for the Perpetually Single

Disclaimer: These tips will not get you dates.

Are you a perpetually single writer? Do you wish you weren’t so single? Here are some tips to help you with your writing!

1. Channel your frustration at being single into your writing.

Everyone knows that artistry loves misery. Convert the energy that you usually use to complain about your lack of a romantic life into a writing drive—as in a drive to physically write, not like a hard drive or Google Drive. If that were possible, who knows what you could accomplish in life, other than attracting a mate of course.

2. Write about how being single isn’t your fault.

Everyone who can’t find a date usually falls under two categories: the blameless or the blamed. The blameless always see themselves as victims. They aren’t unlovable, they just haven’t found the right person to love them and all of their eccentricities. These are the people who proudly go to see movies alone and talk about how they don’t need anyone as they painstakingly swipe through dating apps on their phones, wondering why no one likes their cleverly put together bios.

The blamed, however, look at themselves and see only the things wrong with them.

“I’m overbearing.”

“I don’t dress well.”

“I’m not interesting.”

“I smell like onions.”

The blamed see themselves, not others, as the cause of their singleness and can’t get past that one comment their aunt made about that mole on their face when they were twelve. Now all they see is the mole and how it stops them from getting dates.

Figure out your category and make it work in your favor. Your writing favor, obviously. Use your category to create a character concept that you can eventually expand into a self-insert style vignette, short story, novella, blog post, novel, or etc., projecting your own frustrations onto a fictional world that you can control to the most minute detail.

A single woman with a bizarre mole under her left eye who has been in love with the piano teacher next door who happens to be blind and therefore has never seen the mole in question.

A single man who thinks he has a chance at being a comedian but isn’t even close to funny and is forced to stick with being a heart surgeon prone to telling jokes at inappropriate times, like during open heart surgery.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Use your misery to create someone who is also miserable for other miserable people to read about. Once again, it is a universal truth that artistry loves misery.

3. Write daily because you know you’re not going on dates anytime soon.

You have the time. Might as well use it and use it wisely. Consistence is key with writing. It also is with dating, but what would you know about that? Stick to what you know, which is writing!

4. Write in public. Maybe it will get you noticed?

It probably won’t. Know that you’re not the only person on your laptop at Starbucks. We’ve all been there. It’s a safe place for our kind. But it won’t get you noticed because everyone else will be too busy trying to get noticed as well. Try writing somewhere else, like a Ruby Tuesday or a hotel lobby. Take your laptop to a bar and order a complicated drink that you won’t actually touch because you are so focused on your craft—that being said you’re not actually focused on your craft, but you get the idea. New atmospheres get the creative juices flowing, take advantage of them but try not to get in anyone’s way.

5. Feel like crying because you’re so everlastingly alone? Write about it as you cry.

If you’re prone to thinking better on paper, try not to get your tears on said paper it because that will cause your pen ink to smear and ruin your work. Also, if you prefer pencil, pencil can also smear due to excessive crying. Tears, like new locations, can really get the creative juices flowing because, say it with me now, ARTISTRY LOVES MISERY!

6. Write enough to make yourself seem established, even if you aren’t, that way you have an excuse for still being single.

“I don’t have time to date because I’m focusing on my writing career,” makes the perfect excuse as to why you didn’t bring a date to your college roommate’s wedding. Also, with all of the effort you are putting into making yourself seem established, because you aren’t getting any dates, you will become more consistent in creating various content, thus making yourself a better writer by proxy.


Don’t let your writing suffer just because you want a fairytale romance. Instead of going out and finding one for yourself, create one for other people to enjoy and project their own hopes and dreams onto. After all, stories are meant to be a form of escapism. Why not put your talents to use and create your own escape from the reality of the fact that you’ll probably never find someone to love you? At least you’ll always have your writing.

Andie Pabon
Andie Pabon

My name is Andie and I am a mess of a human being just trying to do her gosh darn best. Sometimes things are bad but even those bad things can be funny. Learn from my follies as I take on the task of living, one shenanigan at a time.

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