Work-Life Balance

When I first started working; what now seems so very long ago... there was nothing at all in my mind leading me to believe I could work too much. I wanted to work, I had become bored with school, I was not learning anything, and just needed to experience the world as it was. I needed to learn the things of life, I wanted to break free from the tyranny of my parents' regime, and become my own person.

Thinking back, I probably should have stayed in 'skool' a little bit longer. My Father was somewhat 'pissed' at my decision to leave high school when I did, my Mother was not terribly impressed either, yet she had much more pressing things on her mind such as how she was going to support five children on her own after Daddy Dearest decided he could no longer deal with family life.

Do not misunderstand, this is not a piece about my not so appealing upbringing wherein I trash my parents for their lack of parenting skills. I love my parents such as they are, and would honestly not change a thing about the way I was raised. I turned out relatively well—all things considered. This is more a recollection of how, when I did enter the work force, I became obsessed with the life without regard to it's lasting effects on both my mind and my body long-term.

I am a Chef by trade. I have been involved in the Hospitality Industry in one form or another for 38 years now, starting at the age of 16. Relatively young, but not uncommon of the trade. My story is also not an uncommon one, I started at the bottom and worked my way through an apprenticeship, and eventually on to running my own kitchens, (moreover, other people's kitchens). I rose up through the ranks in a rather short span of time, so there was not really much thought put into what is referred to as a 'work-life balance' plan. Simply put, I did not have one; I worked, I partied, I slept (usually too little), and went back to the restaurant or bar or hotel at which I was employed, and did it all over again day after day. This continued until such a time as I needed to stop- completely—due to exhaustion, burn-out, and unfortunately, alcoholism.

Interestingly, when asked to work more than a normal work week, never was this a problem. I would always say 'yes', as I really had no other concept of this thing called 'work-life balance.' Sure, I had heard the phrase before being sung by my sponsor of that 'apprenticeship' I had been lucky enough to receive. Yet I had no idea the complexity of such, the need for such, nor even the want of such. Herein lay the problem.

Truly I had no idea why there was this need of having two days off in a row every week. Days off were when they happened for me, and the rest of the time was either for working or partying. As you can imagine, this does not appease a healthy lifestyle. The concept of having a separate work and home life just did not occur to me. The hospitality industry is such that those you work with so very closely every day do also become close friends. It was not until after many years of this I realized that, as one moves from job to job, those friends become just acquaintances. You realize that's all they were to begin with, passing acquaintances that you may or more than likely may not, run into again. There really needs to be that defined separation.

Not to delve into my own issues, as that is not the topic of this piece as I have said, once I did indeed decide to change my lifestyle as it were, to move away from the work, eat, sleep, and repeat scenario, and immerse myself in a healthier existence, my decision to return to kitchens was a tough one. Could I break free from past routines that had become so ingrained? That was my main concern. What I needed to do was reassure myself this was for the best, that I was not a young man any longer, and quite simply, my body nor my mind could handle the abuse of the 12-hour days, seven days a week for weeks on end ever again. That I needed those two days off every week, I needed to keep my shifts to eight hours per day, and that I needed to get eight hours of sleep a night.

There was also this need for the separation from work to personal, and the two shall not mix as they had so intertwined in the past. Life was not one constant never-ending 'party-bus' as I had once both thought and desired it to be. There would be no more alcohol abuse, not eating properly, staying up all night and returning for work at six AM the next day. Physically I could no longer do this and still perform my job effectively. No longer was I, 'just a line cook' and could 'sluff it off' and come out the other side unscathed.

Hell, I was a Father, an Executive Chef, and an Author. I had responsibilities, I had deadlines, people were relying on me, and the odds were, even if I wanted to still engage in these younger activities, my body could not keep up anyway. I had come to the ultimate destination in my life now, whereas I need to have that time for self-reflection, self-analysis of one's own actions. To be able to assure oneself they are achieving the goals set for themselves, and that one is happy, healthy, and best of all, able to continue to do the things we have worked so hard for over the years.

The fact that we as a people do indeed have a purpose to achieve in our work life, and a separate purpose in our personal lives. We have set goals for ourselves and would like to reach those end goals and make it to that finish line called 'retirement'... Hell, my philosophy used to be, 'party till you die!'

I could honestly not picture myself much past the age of 40, if even that. Now though, although from a health perspective I am not in tip-top shape, perhaps because of all that partying, and that's my own doing, but I see myself being around for a good long time yet if in fact I can master this 'work-life balance' thing. I must admit, at this point in the game, not only is it easier than my past indiscretions, it's also much less painful, and much more enjoyable—not impossible and absolutely essential!