As a kid, you learn the simple side about money. You become very happy to even have a quarter or a dollar. As you get older, you acknowledge the harsher side of money. You learn that money is what makes your country and the world run. You learn that the best life you can have depends mostly on money; to have a phone that suits your taste, to have a house, to have a car, to buy the clothes you want, to be able to travel, and so much more.
You realize that money is one important thing that you need to depend on in order to get you going in life. People continue to pressure you and pressure you into getting a job and they keep throwing their money in your face (not literally), but they shove it down your throat of how much they're saving, ordering many things in front of you from online and you grow with envy, stress, and frustration.
You try getting a job but then soon realize that you're not like the people around you. You're not responsible enough; you can't save money well. You realize that you're not willing to do ANYTHING to get money; you can't work at a job that you seriously dislike or gain joy and energy from.
You quit that job, and now, you're stuck.
You're back to asking your mom to spend money on you, putting that "small" burden on her again because you don't ask for too much or much at all for that matter, but that feeling of being so dependent tears at your ego.
Your brother soon gets a job again and he's saving up and so is your cousin. You search up many possible jobs and even create profiles on several websites, only to dislike everything that is thrown towards your way; you are picky and only want to do work that you'd actually like.
People look at you like you're crazy for quitting and say that sometimes in life you must do things you don't want to (which is true), but this is something you want to be able to enjoy. You're one of those teenagers that want to get your life started as soon as possible, only being one age below eighteen.
You continue to stress and overthink your life and suddenly, where do you end up at? Asking your uncle to hook up a job for you and even more researching for jobs that wouldn't trigger your depression or make you uncomfortable. Shortly after, you take a long break.
Life is tough.
Sometimes you think about the easy way out but then you quickly realize how you are DESPERATE to keep living and exploring the beauty and nature of life, of yourself and others who are near you.
Maybe today, you won't get a job, or you won't find a job, but just one day, you will.
You will then pull your big girl skinny jeans up, and you will learn to be responsible, and you will start to realize how much of a hard worker you are.
There will be days you will feel defeated because no matter what kind of job you have, there will always be hardships, but you'll be able to keep stepping forward because your passion has connected with this job and you are willing to do the job even if it was for free because of the positive emotions attached to it.
Just don't give up and keep looking straight instead of to the sides, or behind, or below, and overall, you were able to realize how important it is to look after yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally and not just financially, because your own health matters most.