Release the Fear

One would think that the easiest place to live out loud is within the confines of our own walls; the walls that we call home. But for most, behind closed doors is where we are actually “playing it the safest.”

As an interior designer I’ve come to realize that my job is not limited to beautifying spaces. I easily become a client whisperer/therapist, having to breathe courage, new perspectives, and most of all trust into the heart and soul of a client. Reminding them of their right to live a life of brilliance, excellence, and style, and convincing them that they deserve it all.

The most memorable experience that I can recall of a client that I encountered that was frightened to death of change was a young Muslim woman in her early to mid thirties.

When I visited her home for our initial consultation I was greeted with floor to ceiling butter cream beige (yes the walls, floors coverings and even the ceilings were all butter creme beige). I thought to myself “Oh My you are literally living in a box.”

I could only imagine that she had grown up in such box as well, and that this box represented far more to her than it appeared; it rep’d a familiar place and a safe zone. I am very leery of such safe zones, because oftentimes they harbor the energy of complacency, and stifle the blossoming and growth required to live our best lives.

Although she insisted she was ready for change, I knew it was gonna be more like pushing her out of an airplane. There was no delicate way to approach her project. I went over ideas with her selected colors, and the main/staple pieces, but I knew I could not let her in on every single detail, because she’d only become obsessed with them and ultimately veto the entire concept.

So I brought her to the plane, strapped her in, and pushed her out so to speak.

I started with her bedroom, refreshing the walls by giving them a bright white coat. The white immediately improved the mood of the room, and lifted the weight of the beige carpet. I then gave her a teal wall, which would be the back drop for her new headboard, and I added a large strip of the same teal paint, spanning it across the ceiling down the wall. To give the illusion of a higher ceiling so that she would no longer be boxed in. Needless to say when she first saw her room she cried, and insisted that she could not live with it. She said it was way too much color and demanded that I change it! Her exact words were “I just want to go back to what I had... please just put it all back,” she begged.

I gave her a couple of days to adjust. She called me crying again, but this time tears of joy saying that she absolutely loved it, and was so happy that I forced her out of her comfort zone.

I have to admit that I was a little worried that I had gone too far, but I also knew that she deeply needed something that truly represented her, and would force her to begin to take the steps to living the life she truly deserves.

If nowhere else, your home should be the place where you give yourself permission to be you; it should serve as the the back drop to your authentic self. If not at home then where will you ever be willing to release your fears, and live for you? I truly believe it starts within, and our home is a physical reflection of our internal state of mind.