Jos Green
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On My Own

Starting With Mistakes

From the moment any kid turns 18 all they want to do is escape from home and be on their own. I was no different. While I knew I wasn't ready at 18, I was trying to make myself ready and find a way. I was never really good at saving money, which made it harder, especially working at McDonalds. 

The summer I turned 20, I got a second job at an amusement park to surplus my income. However, I was injured at that job and ended up going light duty and was taken out of my other job, which didn't have a light duty option for the shift that I was available for. There went my chances to even think about saving. 

I graduated at the end of the summer and in the fall I found a job in my career field. I thought I loved it. I was working with kids who really needed help and I was working enough for me to be able to save up for my own car, and a way out. 

Come the new year I had started dating a new boy who I had met working at my summer job. At the end of January, I left my parents out of anger. I thought distance would help me in success and I'd be okay. Perhaps I would have been. 

Things started off great at first, we had money to spare and it was tax season it was easier for us. However things became harder. My boyfriend lost his job and shortly after I was attacked at work and injured. Thankfully light duty was something I was able to come by at work there, however my 56 hours a week had turned into 30 and really hurt us financially. 

Fear ruled my head. I was starting to get better and though I wasn't ready to go back to work like I had been, I was afraid of getting attacked again. While working light duty I continued to hunt for a new job, something where I would feel safe. 

Towards the end of April I found one, a collections job. Collection jobs never work for someone who has as much empathy as I do. In a collections position I'm supposed to assume that the people who are in debt are lying about not being able to pay their debt—hard not to believe them when they're in the same position as you. It was mentally draining for me, and it only took a month before to help me out mentally, I switched and went back to McDonalds. 

My boyfriend who had found a new job in May was encouraging, until he was injured and forced out of work, still no idea when he could return. I wasn't getting enough hours to provide for us both and eventually pushed myself to apply for government assistance so that I could at least provide for food and then my paycheck would be enough for rent and electric and other bills. 

Now I don't know where I'm going next. I've looked for a second job but I'm also trying to make myself happy. That's all I've been trying to do. No one seems to see it that way. Now I'm 21 as of a week ago, having never celebrated that except the day after I saw my family. 

I thought living on my own would be a lot easier than it has been. I knew about bills and responsibilities, but I didn't know that life was going to throw every little thing at me all at once. Now I'm trying to find a second job, but I want this job to make me truly happy. I looked on Indeed and found a couple writing positions, now it's a hope for the best.

I didn't share my story for sympathy, I shared it because I know other people have been in the same type of situations maybe even worse and probably felt like giving, there's always something you can do. I came close to giving up 10 times, just in June alone. I'm slowly becoming happy, and if I get one of those writing jobs I will be. Until then, I will keep writing on here or where ever I can to give people hope. I'm not writing on here for the money, I'm writing on here because a lot of people who on here are writing for the money, probably understand my situation and might even be in it as well. 

Thank you.


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