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1) The Toilet Dude
Hi there! I am the toilet dude! Every time I call a customer service centre, I feel a real urge to make the person on the other end of the phone aware that I am in the bathroom. I will make as much noise as I can, such a flushing, farting, and running water. Well, you never know, what if I get flushed down the toilet and that customer centre worker was the last person to speak to me, eh?
2) The Cannot Stop Eating One
Hey! I am the customer that just cannot stop eating and constantly chew into the phone. Perhaps this is my last opportunity on earth to eat and I just cannot resist chewing down the phone, I'm so excited about food, I just need to let you know! Woop Woop! Food!
3) The Famous One
Hello, hello! You will always recognise me when I say "do you not know who I am!?" Seriously, I am so famous, why don't you know me. Everyone in my office knows me! And my mum knows me, and my dog knows me! I expect the highest level of service, meaning you have to have magical powers as well as psychic skills, because you have to know who I am! How do you know the chairman of Iamaweirdo, LTD? God!
4) Mr. and Mrs. Posh Accent
Good day to you good, sir/madam! We are Mr. and Mrs. Posh and we just have to make it sound like we owe millions and millions as well as make sure you do not understand a single word that we are saying to make sure we can get a potential tenner in compensation. I know you won't understand a word that we are saying because we have no clue either.
5) I Have No Clue
Yes, ladies and gents, I have no clue. I am the type of customer who doesn't have a reference number, no clue what my name is, what my address is and what planet am I on? Mars, no? But hey, you, customer service worker, you better give me the answer that I want, look into my case. Have you not been trained? Oh, the level of incompetence! Where are your psychic skills! Bloody useless!
6) The Smart One
Hey there, I am the smart customer, well I would like to think so. I know everything better than you! Whatever you say is wrong, I know it all. You are all incompetent. You may as well hand your notice in right now because I won't let you get a word in.
7) The Party Animal
Wooo! Hey Hey! I am the type of customers that feels like there is a need to call you out of the loudest place I can possibly find because moving out of the noisy background is just not me. I need to make sure you cannot hear a word and we can have a shouting competition. The game starts now!
8) The Talking Machine
Hey, I just cannot stop talking! I am trying to achieve a Guinness Book World Record for the amount of words I can say in one minute. I will not let you get a word in. I will keep going on and on and on and on and on, and on and on. Again and again! Oh, you just managed to get a word in? How rude! Give me your manager!
9) The Lawyer
Hey, I am a lawyer and you are all illegal! What you do is illegal, what you do is not legal, your company is not legal. Custer Service Law says you should not be doing any of what you do and how can you do this, this, and this and I will see you all in court. I will dispute everything you say and will be complaining 24/7 just so I can get a promo code for a fiver.
Hey, I am a customer. I will listen to what you say, give you all the information you need and wish you a lovely evening. I know you did not expect to hear from me and believed I am Harry Potter character but surprise! I actually exist!