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I Have Adult ADHD!

Help!

I am dependent on my ADHD medication to get up before noon. Without it, I might sleep until five in afternoon. I am really not great at that whole show up fifteen minutes early thing… so two to five minutes early isn’t good enough? My room is in chaos all the time. I can’t find my makeup anymore. I’ve had jobs where they let me go after a few weeks because “I’m not the right fit.” Worse, one of those jobs didn’t give me any hours for two of those weeks… and expected me to drive half an hour to the location to see that I didn’t get any hours. I’m worried my ADHD puts too much strain on my personal relationships and everywhere I go, people seem to notice that I’m different …

Please help; I don’t know what to do. Do things get better as an adult with ADHD? Will I ever find the job that is right for me? Will I ever learn to keep my space clean and organized? Will I ever become the queen of time organization? These things I don’t know, but I do know is that if this sounds like you… at least we are not alone.

So here is my story of my current ADHD crises. I got a new job that I loved and even stayed after work once to hang out with the regulars. A couple of them insisted and it was fun. Unfortunately, after my first week of training, I was told I needed more training… then a bit more. The owners asked to speak with me on a Tuesday so I waited after my shift for them. I didn’t get the hint when she texted, “we will be a while. I will call you when I get there.” Apparently, this meant, or was supposed to mean, that I should go home and return to work when I get the call. I ended up waiting just over two hours. While waiting, one of the regulars was talking with me and warned me that while this was a fun place to work, the management wasn’t good… at all… yay.

The owners finally show up and make a list of things that I have not being doing properly... then later apologize for not telling me about these things earlier so it’s not completely my fault. At one point, they even thanked me for meeting them, after all... it’s not like I was getting paid for that meeting. The owners made it clear that I need to listen to their instructions first and not the supervisor or the guests.

So the next day, after working everyday for ten days now, I return to work and try to do the cleaning list that the owners insisted on. I find it impossible to do while also serving the guests and the supervisor keeps telling me I’m making mistakes. So I raise my voice in frustration at the supervisor explaining that I can’t do everything. He calmly asks me to go in the kitchen and lets me do a little rant, then he warns me that if I have an outburst like that... I will not make it in this field. I heeded his warning and kept trying.

The following week, I am still making mistakes… The supervisor who was once very patient is now telling me that the owners will not wait much longer and I am at risk of being let go. I was still making mistakes. The stress got to me too much that night and I kind of just gave up inside. The stress bothers me less, but I was still struggling at work.

Yesterday at work, a guest told me I was different. This was after I said something so weird and out of the blue that a silence fell over the group. I explained to him that this difference is probably because of my ADHD and that I have been having trouble getting a job because of it. He and the guy sitting next to him immediately showed sympathy to the situation. It made me feel better, but still … where do I go from here? 

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