I am not sure I like my job. I think I used to like it... I think. Back when making my 30K a year meant something huge. That was ten years ago. I'm still here, making a tad more money, and just about every day I consider whether or not I like my job. I also consider how long I can ride on unemployment, how much I could make working at TJ Maxx or if I can make money doing what I actually like doing. Problem is I don't know what I like doing... besides sitting on my comfy sofa watching shit reality TV. Can I get paid for that?
I read an article once on how to make your job less shitty. It's funny because the article said to write a letter of resignation daily. I promise I do that already, sometimes with intention to send. #truth
Today's resignation would be more of a speech perhaps. I'm not sure exactly, but I think it would go a little something like this:
"Listen up everyone, just a quick meeting here. I wont take much of your time, just want to share with you why I am leaving you all.
I started off thrilled AF that it's Monday and I am not even lying. I actually googled 'How to make Monday more enjoyable' proceeded by googling images of Monday memes to email to you all so that everyone can get some witty fun Monday cat saying 'Hang in there it's Monday.'
When I arrived at my desk this morning, I noticed that my phone was unplugged, the power plug that holds a million plugs was turned off, thus causing my headset to my phone to be dead.
One of you a-holes did this, and nobody will fess up about it.
To Kate, thanks so much for making your fish fry in the microwave today. Not only did you stink up the entire 2500 square foot office, you also managed to make everyone here your enemy. You're new, so you should try and keep/make friends. You failed at that.
New VP of whatever you are, your pants are too tight, and I honestly can't handle looking at one more pair of your too tight khakis. You have officially made me hate khakis, thus hating you.
For those of you who continue to eat at your desk, and slurp your water bottles daily... you know who you are, STOP, or you're going to make the no friends list with Kate.
Actually everyone, truth be told, I could have handled Kate's gross fish fry, all of you slurping at your desks, and the khaki sausage pants. What pissed me off the most was that whatever a-hole made me late to my morning call (and also which later gave me a stiff neck since I had no headset to use) also decided to lower my chair. The chair that cannot be lifted back up. You probably already know this though, because I am certain you sat in my 10 year old chair and tried to lift it back to its original spot after you screwed with my things.
I hate you for screwing up my hopefully happy Monday.... And that is the reason I am leaving you today.
Except that this is my family owned business, so I guess I have to continue seeing you, family, outside of this office... which makes it a little awkward. But for everyone else, I am taking my chair with me with hopes to never see you all again!“
Honestly this made me feel a tad better. And today I almost hit send/ gathered everyone to the conference room. Except, today, on this Monday, I am not sure I like my job… which actually means I might like it a little.
I’ll hit send tomorrow.