How to Spot and Avoid Awful Companies in London

They say that you learn by making mistakes and that you’re not going to progress if you always do everything right the first time. I would add that if you never saw it done right at least once, you’ll never know what it’s supposed to look like, and you will continue making the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard you try. That’s the story of the company I worked for and ran away from, after three weeks in the job!

Clueless and toxic managers, passive and indifferent director, working methods that makes no sense and lack of basic requirements for a company to function (such as processes, records, internal rules, clear hierarchical organization, etc). You will find in this article the perfect recipe for a barely functioning company where nobody with a normal level of self-respect would want to work, and hints to identify such a company before you accept a job.

Screaming red flags before I even started

At first, I was thrilled. I met a company’s manager—I would later find out he’s the company’s only manager—for a casual interview. He—let’s call him “Tom”—called me the next day to tell me that I was hired for an initial three-weeks trial period, and that he would send my contract the next day. The contract was set to start on the 1st week of December and end before the Christmas break, during which the company was closed.

Upon the reception of the contract, there were several red flags already.

The contract sent was not an employment contract, but a contract for services. When I asked why, Tom told me this contract was only for the 3-weeks trial period and that another contract—an employment contract—would be signed for the next year and would start on January. He also told me that an employment contract was not necessary, since it would include clauses relating to pensions, schemes, and vacation, and such clauses were not needed in a contract for services.

As a trained legal advisor, I could tell the contract was very poorly written, with contradictory clauses (one stating that the trial period was three-weeks and another one stating that this period was supposed to last three months), wrong starting date (which was corrected when I mentioned it), and the presence of clauses relating to details such as pensions schemes and vacation—the exact clauses Tom said should be only on employment contracts.

At this point, he already proved to be unreliable and less than honest in his way of communicating with me. I was already suspecting Tom of having copied an employment contract template he found on the Internet and having been too lazy to even modify or adjust it to look like a contract for services…

In top of that, no background or reference checks were conducted, and I didn't have a chance to see the company's office before starting.

The casual interview took place at a coffee shop and Tom assured me that it was not necessary to come before the starting date, even while I insisted to come greet the team and familiarize with the office before my first day. Always beware when you’re not invited in the company’s offices for an interview. Chances are this company’s top management has something to hide (or is ashamed of the office space/employees). It's NEVER a good sign.

Nevertheless, I was so eager to start working after months without a job, and get a first long-term experience in London, that I ignored those red flags (obviously). I just figured that if I didn’t like the job, I could just leave it when I would find a better opportunity. It was a mistake I won’t do twice, I can guarantee that.

A shocking first day

After the contract was signed, Tom asked me to come a little early on the first day so that he could show me around.

Knowing that employees had to be ready to work from 9:00 to 17:30, I arrived in at 8:20. I was a little afraid of arriving late on my first day and took extra precautions. Noticing that the office was closed, I called Tom to see if he was on his way, only for him to reply that it wasn’t actually necessary to come before 9:00…

I may be crazy but when someone asks me to come a little early, I understand that I have to come before the defined starting time!

In this case, the working day is supposed to start at 9:00, so coming a little early means coming before 9:00! Tom told me to go wait at a coffee shop that is just next to the office, and that he would try to come at the office as soon as possible. He arrived at the office at 9:50 that day…

It turns out he called the director of the company who always arrived five to ten minutes early at the office and told him to get me at the coffee shop and let me in the office.

I waited nearly 30 minutes, while drinking a coffee and questioning the life choices that brought me to accept this job opportunity.

The director, that we are going to call “Paul,” entered the coffee shop, introduced himself and took me to the office. He showed me around the office and then gave me an introduction of what the company does.

During the presentation it was both what Paul said and how he said it that alarmed me.

First of all, Paul started denigrating all his employees, including Tom, stating that they almost never did their jobs correctly, showed no initiative, and constantly made mistakes that forced him to step in and do their jobs in their place. He labelled Tom as disorganized, sloppy, unfocused, and unproductive. At some point, he took a look at his watch and just said “It’s 9:20 and Tom is not here. Unacceptable!” He pointed out right after his litany of complaints that the company wouldn’t exist anymore if he didn’t hired Tom two years ago, but that the latter couldn’t be trusted with important tasks and deadlines.

Thus, he wanted me to fix all these issues: motivate the team, shape a new corporate culture and internal policies (the company was created in 1991 and they had none of that…), hire a fresh and high performing new team, support Tom in daily operations management and business development missions, draft and negotiate contracts, and define a new marketing strategy, together with the Marketing Officer (who I had to hire first).

Paul told me all these things in a bitter and defeated voice. It almost sounded like he was sick and tired of running his own company!

I eventually asked about two employees whose photos and descriptions appeared in the company’s website in the “Team” page, “Sarah” and “Alison.” To that, he just answered “Oh these two, they’re long gone. They were bad at their jobs anyway. Good riddance!”

Why did he hire them in the first place and why didn’t he update the website? I found out later that both of them only stayed in the company for a few weeks—which wasn’t very reassuring—and ghosted the company.

During Paul's long speech, I was already starting to regret how quickly I accepted this job and couldn't see myself working for such a depressing, frustrated, and rude loser on a long-term basis.

Tom finally arrived and it put an end to Paul’s endless speech on how his employees were rubbish and kept his company from growing. Tom blamed the awful traffic for his delay to an unconvinced Paul, and we started the weekly meeting with my two new colleagues, “Helena,” 45=year-old Sales Consultant who’s been in the company for 10 years, and “Patrick,” the company’s Financial Analyst who is one year younger than me.

Fun and playful weekly meetings... I wish

Tom first introduced me by saying my profile was recommended by a recruiter. Only he was interrupted by Paul who shouted “Tinder” just after he said “by.” Paul laughed at his pathetic and inappropriate joke, while everyone pretended they didn’t hear anything.

The director of this company makes lame, outdated jokes during meetings! What more did I need to grab my purse and get out of this hellhole?

Tom continued by getting updates for all the ongoing projects from Helena, who took care of the communication with the clients and the smooth running of each project. Patrick didn’t say much. The meeting ended some 20 minutes later.

Tom then told me that we would have another meeting, only with him and Paul, at the coffee shop next door—the same coffee in which I sat before Paul arrived. I found it very weird to step out of the company to hold a meeting, but didn’t make any comment and followed them at the coffee shop.

Hiding in coffee shops from other employees to hold a meeting with the top management... ?

Tom started the meeting with this sentence: "What you saw at the meeting is everything we want to change!"

… Which left me puzzled. Tom and Paul are convinced that all the company’s problems come from Helena and Patrick, while nothing could be further from the truth. From my three weeks in this company, I can say it’s true that Helena and Patrick don’t show a lot of initiative and do their jobs at their own rhythm, but they’re fun to work with and they helped me efficiently each time I had an issue. The same things couldn’t be said about Paul and Tom.

Tom continued: “First of all, I want Patrick gone!” He wanted me to fire Patrick and hire a replacement... and to do that, this spineless, despicable coward needed to hide in a coffee shop, outside of the company. This sent me a strong signal about how untrustworthy and cowardly the top management was in this company. Instead of talking with Patrick to tell him that they had to let him go, they decided to hire someone else do to it for them!

That's when I decided that I wouldn't stay in this company after the end of the trial period (nearly one hour into the job...).

The first week went by pretty quickly since I was pretty much left alone and could start my tasks in peace. It still didn’t feel good to start looking for Patrick’s replacement, knowing that when it would be done, they would fire him.

I had three tasks to achieve during this 3-weeks period:

• Filling an application for an environmental certification that, once granted to a company, states that this company abides by the principles of sustainable development, responsible management and ethical sourcing.
• Hire a new Financial Planner.
• Give a legal analysis on a disagreement the company had with a supplier.

Not the most challenging or interesting tasks I had in my career, but why not? These tasks would help Tom evaluate my performance and decide if I should be hired on a permanent contract at the beginning of the following year.

The environmental certification was the most time-consuming task for two reasons: this mission was very dull and its execution was made very difficult by the lack of information and records I needed to fill the application.

Broken commitments and reality check

I remember clearly that, during the interview with Tom, I told him that I wanted a job that didn’t revolve only around legal responsibilities, but also business and policy development.

I explained that I already had experiences as Legal Counsel and Contract Manager, and when you do that for a long-time, missions such as drafting contracts and providing legal advice can feel repetitive. Tom cut me off: “Oh you mean boooooring!” with an idiotic smile on his face, “I know what you mean, I studied law too.”

I checked his LinkedIn profile before the interview. He must have attended one or two law courses during his business administration degree (his studies didn't go further). The fact that he compared his poor legal knowledge and his absence of experience as a legal professional with my two master degrees in International Business Law and my extensive legal background was laughable, but I refrained from telling him that.

In addition, if all you can say about legal responsibilities is that they are “boooooring,” then maybe you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, and you should shut up (another red flag I let fly).

Let’s come back to the environmental certification and put it like this: if I had to choose, I would gladly draft contracts for the rest of my life, over filling an environmental certification ever again. The assignment was basically to fill a 40-pages document with information about the company’s processes, core activities, products and services and actions the company would take to respect the principles of sustainable development. There were also roughly 20 documents to complete and send with the main document on various procedures (control of records, risk management, environmental and quality policy, etc.).

This is not what I agreed to during the interview.

I was told that I would be given the opportunity to work on various projects, different ones each day, to undertake deep changes in the company to improve its operational efficiency and growth strategy.

None of that happened. The whole time I worked there, I wasn’t involved in a single project, even after I asked repeatedly. When I proposed new ideas and initiatives, I simply didn’t get any replies to my emails. And when I asked for feedbacks to Tom, he just kept telling that he would reply later and that I should focus on the certification.

A company that doesn't keep any records, ever...

No one in the company bothered to keep records, files, or any information necessary to fill the forms.

In 27 years of running this company, Paul drafted a few rules and processes in a Word document, without editing, but that wasn’t near enough of what I needed.

To fill in this environmental certification, I needed to know about all the processes the company implemented, the main problem being: the company didn’t have any recorded processes on files and servers, or even clearly defined processes.

When I brought it up to Tom, his first reaction was to be offended by my comment, replying “It would be very disingenuous to say that we don’t have any process! We just don’t have time to record all of them.”

There are no records of any sort. Wake up, you pathological liar!

The most stupid and useless manager I had the unfortune to work with...

Anyone with a functioning brain wouldn't have assigned this mission to someone who:

• just arrived in the company
• doesn't know anything about the company's processes
• and cannot find about those processes without interrupting constantly a colleague by asking him.

Unfortunately, Tom is an unpragmatic idiot who shouldn't be allowed to manage people.

So, each time I needed an information that I couldn’t find anywhere, he insisted in stopping whatever he was doing and start lengthy explanations (otherwise known as mansplaining) when I expected a simple, fast and clear answer.

Tom is also an annoying and very sticky pot of glue, deeply in love with his own voice, and who needs to blabber for an hour (or more) to explain a simple idea, or reply to a simple question, when a normal person would need no more than 5 to 10 minutes.

To my great despair, his desk was right next to mine. During the three weeks I worked in this company, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut during more than 10 minutes straight, bothered me dozens of times each day with personal stories, "super funny jokes," "fascinating anecdotes," pictures of his kids, detailed description of how his family spent Christmas… etc.

He also tried to call one-on-one meetings with me whenever he got a chance to explain things to me, during which I stared at his screen, while he was changing commas and sentences structures on a document I drafted... Most of the time, these meetings were in fact disguised attempts to tell me more about his life…

I learnt it the painful way when I asked him to give me information about how the company keeps records on clients, sales, suppliers, etc (after looking for that information on the server and not finding it). Instead of just send me a link to the Access document listing all the information I needed, he told to grab a chair and sit next to him so that he could “explain everything” to me. That’s what I did and I was stuck there for an hour and a half!

He found the Access document after a short search on the server (the document’s name was "Access document"…), and felt the need to explain, in a very loud and annoying voice (as if I was an elderly with an unsound mind) the table and information listed on the document.

If an Access document or a table is done correctly, you don't need to explain it (and usually, you don't have time to take an hour and a half to explain it to someone else)!

Here’s how the “explanation” went: “You see the columns? The COLUMNS? Well, here we have the clients (shows the list under the column), the suppliers who PROVIDE THE MATERIALS. You understand?! (shows the list under the column “suppliers”). And then, the UNITS, and THE MATERIALS, because we use different materials depending on CLIENTS’ NEEDS"

No s**t, Sherlock!

At this point, I just wanted to grab the nearest keyboard and smash it on his face to get him to stop talking (I deserve a medal for not having actually done it). I just nodded, said “yes” and told him repetitively that I could look at the document by myself and understand its content without him. He wasn’t listening to what I was saying, and seemed only obsessed with his “explanation” and how he could cover my voice with his loud and endless screams.

Never before in my life, I had to sit through a "discussion" with such a self-absorbed moron who was wrongly convinced he had any valuable knowledge or advice to give to anyone...

I saw Tom showing interest for his job only when he opened his big mouth to give to employees what he thinks are fascinating explanations, when it’s in fact endless and worthless gibbering (when it’s not utter nonsense). The man thinks what he says is so interesting, he never realized that everyone just wants him to shut up and that nobody likes him at the company (from what I heard other employees saying about him when he’s not around).

This man is in desperate need for attention... and a friend to talk to

After this painful experience, I tried another approach: communicate with Tom only by emails, and avoid starting a discussion with him at all cost.

I sent him a list of the information I needed for the certification and asked him to answer to my questions by replying to my email. Few seconds after I hit the button “send,” he turned to me and said “Grab your chair and come sit next to me. I’m going to give you all the answers.” Me: “I think it would go faster if you could just reply to my email. I’m busy analyzing CVs and screening candidates for the Financial Planner position.” Tom: “Ok, I see.”

Two hours later, he still hadn’t replied. He seemed too busy asking everyone if they wanted coffee, making coffee, chatting with Paul for half an hour, asking if anyone wanted a pastry from the coffee shop, going to the coffee shop, coming back at his desk and starring at his computer’s screen while eating a donut. He suddenly turned to me again: “Hey, let’s do a meeting and talk about your questions!” (Does he have amnesia, or does he think I’m completely stupid…?) Me: “You told me you would reply to my email with the answers.”, Tom: “I prefer to do a meeting and give you all the information by talking.”

Let me get this straight: instead of replying to my email while I'm working on something else, he wants me to come and listen to his long explanations, and write everything down while setting the information I need apart from his "funny stories" and digressions, for an hour?

And I have to listen to him through all of it, when he could just send me the information and let me work on other tasks in the meantime?!

When I think about it, stupid Tom had all the information needed to fill the certification. So, why couldn’t he fill it himself and give me more fitting missions? Giving this task to someone who doesn’t have the information and keeps asking for it, and expecting him/her to take notes each time is the dumbest and most time-consuming way to do this! This is so inefficient, it’s almost sabotage!

After he kept insisting on telling me the answers to my questions instead of just writing an email, the “meeting” we had took another hour and a half to get through all the questions. It was hard to keep him on track, as he kept making digressions to tell me “funny stories” about his life. I had to draw his attention to the questions each time he did, arguing I had other things to finish by the end of the day. Tom loves talking so much, he should hire a best friend (or buy a dog) he could talk with all day. At least, he wouldn’t be wasting other employees’ time this way.

I found out later that the company received the documents to fill for the certification a month before I was hired. Tom convinced Paul to apply for the certification (it was "his" initiative) and this whole time, he couldn’t even bring himself to even start filling the application. He much better preferred to lie to me on an interview on how I would manage great projects, and then let me handle it.

This lying piece of garbage...

Wasting everyone's time, including his own

The whole point of having two or more employees is that they should be able to cover two or more tasks at the same time, separately. If both/all of them are almost constantly working on the same thing, it cancels the advantage of having several employees!

• My way for handling the certification: Tom has all the knowledge necessary to fill the certification forms. He can take care of the certification, and give me more fitting missions. Afterwards, he can send me the documents filled so that I can learn everything about the company’s processes, rules and systems. In the meantime, I would have accomplished other missions that I could perform without asking him information.
• Tom’s (dumb and inefficient) way: I have all the knowledge, but my fingers are too deep in my butt right now. So, Flora will fill the documents. I’m going to give Flora all the information VERBALLY, because I’m not capable of writing or answering emails containing very simple questions. I also like to waste Flora’s time by calling useless meetings with her and make her listen my stupid blabber (because I don’t have any friend to talk to, so she has to suffer through my stupid and dull speeches). When I will talk to her (for hours!!!!), she’ll have to listen and set the information about the company’s processes apart from my funny stories and anecdotes about my boring life. We will both be working on the same thing (the certification) for hours and hours, while we could perform multiple tasks separately if I just handled the certification myself, and let her work on other missions. (By the way, I'm the most stupid man on Earth. Somehow, I convinced myself that my brain was functioning, while I don't have one :) I will ruin the company I work for and scare all the employees away. ^^)

When I finished filling the main document for the application, I sent it to him and asked him to validate it. This pot of glue tried one more time to call a meeting, so that we can review the document together.

Me: “I don’t have time today, and a meeting is not necessary. I already know everything that’s written in the document since I filled it myself, so I don’t need to review it with you (We don’t need to stare at the same screen while you read what I drafted, you hopeless moron!) Could you read it and tell me afterwards if you see any issue?”

Tom: “No, we should take at least an hour to review it together. Let’s do it now.”

Me: “Like I said, I’m busy right now and I don’t think it’s necessary.”

Tom: “Grab your chair and come, we’ll review it. Trust me!”

At this point, the way he insisted on having me seated next to him was getting creepy and I thought to myself that he was the last guy on Earth I would trust.

I kept insisting on how I thought it would go faster if he reviewed the document while letting me work on my other tasks. He finally agreed, stood up and grabbed his coat. Before heading out, he told me: “Since you want me to review the document all by myself, I will now go to some meetings, and review it later.” Meaning: "If you won’t satisfy my childish whim, I’m off to sulk in a corner…" Poor, pathetic Tom.

So, one minute ago, he didn’t have any meetings and insisted on having a one-hour meeting with me to review the document, and when he realized that wouldn’t happen, he suddenly had to head outside of the company to attend some “meetings”…?

“Review the document all by myself”": you poor fragile thing! It’s difficult for you to review a document if someone is not seating next to you to listen to your stupid comments? You live a tough life!

Still wondering what's the point of employing this brainless dummy

I don’t really know what the hell Tom was doing all day. He couldn’t stay seated in front of his computer more than 15 minutes straight and kept standing up and going for a chat with Paul, Patrick, or Helena all day, or interrupting me with personal stories or stupid jokes. I was feeling so relieved when he was bothering someone else!

His desk was pretty close to mine so I could see how he spent his time. On one occasion, he was checking Christmas themed gift-wrapping bags. One morning, he suddenly asked me what’s an InMail… Me: “It’s a mail you can send on LinkedIn” (Duuuuuhhh!). He then waved at me to come closer and check his computer screen, “I don’t get it. Come and show me!”

Of course! All I want to do when I’m at work is being interrupted with stupid questions and being asked to run at my manager’s desk whenever he feels like it! He was checking his LinkedIn profile, more precisely the “messaging” tab. “So, people that I don’t know can send me InMails?!” (Me in my head: How did I end up working for such an idiot?).

I think the guy asked dumb questions on purpose to start a discussion... Did he feel alone and needed a friend at all time, or did he hate to work that much he had to bother others repeatedly throughout the day? Or was he trying to make a pass at me by forcing to talk with hil? I was starting to wonder how such a stupid, despicable, arrogant and childish "man" could even exist?

This guy is SO stupid (without exaggeration) and it's clear he doesn't even realise it. Here's one example below.

More than once, I had to sit through Tom’s childish complaints about how he had to explain processes and systems to Helena and Patrick several times a week... On top of that, Tom said that he needed to sit with them FOR HOURS to explain, not realizing the time taken and wasted was completely his fault. He went on with his whining by saying: “I’m not the guy who wants to know and control everything in the company. I want everyone to know about the company’s processes, rules and systems. But all this knowledge stays here (points fingers at himself). I don’t want that!”

This rant of him was obviously a big fat lie, a grotesque (and of course failed) attempt to convince me that he was so smart and everyone else was dumb and needed his guidance somehow, while he was in fact proving he’s the dumb one in this case…

To begin with, I never saw him give long explanations to Maria or Patrick, nor I ever felt like they needed him to do any their tasks. In top of that, if this idiot is tired of giving explanations for hours with his loud voice, then why didn’t he write down all this knowledge and share it on a written format with his colleagues in two years of working for this company?!

He’s precisely the type of guy who wants to feel important and irreplaceable in the company (because he knows deep down he’s not). The only thing he has is his knowledge of the company’s processes and products, and he holds on to it, too afraid of writing anything down, because he knows he’s useless in every other aspects of the job.

Tom is so stupid he thinks he looks smart when he claims he has time to explain verbally and repeatedly things to his employees, several times a week, for hours, BUT doesn’t have time to just write it somewhere (mail, Word document) ONCE, and send it to his colleagues when they ask about it again. I wonder if he has a functioning brain. I mean, does his brain work? (The truth being he’s just lazy and stupid, and sounds very dumb in his way of covering for the fact that he's unable of unplunging his useless fingers from his butthole…)

After a more careful look at his LinkedIn profile, I could see that he only had short and shady work experiences with unfindable companies. He also founded his own company which lasted 3 to 4 years, and after it went bankrupt (who knows why), he has been working in this company for two years.

Not exactly your typical experienced manager who could actually teach you something. Quite the opposite.

Three-hours one-on-one meeting? Thank you, but NO THANK YOU!

The last straw that broke the camel’s back was a call he made to the office while he was on “meetings,” outside of the company. I use quotes because he never reported anything about who he was meeting and on which subject.

It was one morning I was deeply enjoying since he wasn’t here to blabber in my ears and ask me stupid questions. I called the auditing company who would grant us the environmental certification if our application was successful and asked them questions on how we were supposed to fill some forms and which documents to attach to the application.

Tom proved he was capable of making me feel nauseous with his micromanaging and dumb questions even when he wasn’t in the room.

He started by asking me if I called the auditing company to which I replied “Yes, I did!” I was the one who suggested I call them to make sure everything was in order, after all. Then he asked me this question (I’m not joking): “Did you ask them questions on how to fill the application, OR (dramatic pause) on how to send the application?”…

I didn’t answer right away and had to pause to wonder what could be the purpose of such a question, and try to remember if someone in my life ever asked me such a stupid question before. I just ended up replying “I asked all the questions I needed to ask to finish filling the application and send it by the end of the week. Why would I ask only part of the questions, anyway?” to which he replied “Oh, I was just wondering if you asked all the necessary questions, that’s it.” He was testing my capacity to ask questions and get information I needed over the phone…?

The call wasn’t over. After that, he asked me to book a three-hours meeting on Outlook for just him and me, this afternoon from 2 PM to 5 PM.

I asked why he wanted to have such a long meeting, especially for only two people, and what was there to discuss for three hours! In my previous positions, I already had meetings with over 10 people and they never lasted more than 45 minutes or an hour.

Tom: “We need to talk about all your work so far.”

Me: “No, we don’t. For everything I did, I sent you a short report by emails. You just have to read them. No need to have a three hours-meeting.”

Tom: “I have a different approach, actually. Plus, I need to spend time with you this afternoon (What he said word for word). We need to talk about everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry to say it so bluntly, but this meeting would be a complete waste of time! I never had three-hours meetings in any of my previous roles. Nobody has time for that!”

Tom: “Ok, book the meeting and let’s talk about it this afternoon.”

He hung up.

I grabbed my purse, filled it with all my belongings, and headed out. Later in the afternoon, I send an email including a letter stating my decision to end the trial period and letting them know that I was not interested in working for them ever again.

Tom replied to my email with surprise and anger. He actually thought "we had a good relationship" and that he "tried (his) best to mentor (me) and teach me valuable knowledge." This brainless clown never realized that, by the time I left the company, I despised him like I never despised anyone else in my life. Now, I just feel pity for him, this man is beyond help.

In all my previous roles, I had the privilege to work with inspiring and smart managers (lawyers, consultants, government officials), and learnt a great deal by working with them.

I started my career in the legal field as Legal Advisor, in law firms, legal departments of private companies and one international organization. I then decided to expand my skills in the field of business consulting, and was hired in the public sector as a Business & Policy Advisor, where I helped companies develop their activities internationally.

I accomplished so much, with so many inspiring and driven people, it’s simply not acceptable for me to work for a self-important, patronizing little turd whom I have nothing to learn from. Life is too short to work with incompetents.

Today, we learnt that when, at work:

• you feel like you're the only person with a brain in the room
• you don't feel challenged
• you're under the impression you're losing neurons when you listen to your manager
• and you constantly want to punch him in the face

then it's time to move on to better things and find a new job.