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I can say that writing has been with me since I was a young girl—since the day I wrote my first short poem about family when I was about 10 years old. I was so private with my words, that I often would destroy pages. I turned to writing, to vent, and cope with things. As I grew older, I would start to write in diaries/journals. Writing became an escape, from many things that were going on in my life. I definitely didn't know then, that I was going through depression. It was very hard to talk about my feelings, but very easy to write about it.
Stepping into high school, I was still very silent with my writing. Only two close friends would know about it. One night, I was being comfortable around some, I started to freestyle, rhyme out loud. From time to time after that, I would freestyle, then I would start to write raps, and songs. I had found a new way to express myself, and my story. Although I was still very shy with my writing, I did get to showcase my skills in many occasions. That would get people asking about me. Helping me come out more. I would get into the studio with a few local artist, and I would kill the mic, as they say. It was very fast and easy for me. I was full of inspiration and ideas! Many people gave me the motivation, by letting me know how much talent I had, and how they wanted to hear more. People were actually interested in my words! I couldn't believe so many people were interested in what I had to say. It was still hard to talk about my life, and would keep many things to myself. So a lot of my freestyles, and raps at the time, were a bit angry, violent, and depressing.
Even though I knew I had so much more to bring. It quickly came to an end for me, when I met my partner, and I got pregnant with my first child. I took a huge break from it all, and would eventually stop writing. I decide to give all my focus to my son, not knowing how that would effect me. I decided to live my life strictly as a mother, and wife. I went on to have two more sons. I felt as though, it wasn't about me anymore. So my passion, and drive for my writing, had stopped.
I realised that depression took a toll on me. I had forgotten about myself, and what made me happy, other than my family, my hobbies, and passions. Slowly I would start to write again. I found other ways to deal with depression. I would start to become a new version of myself—more motivated, driven, and inspired! I had so much to share, I have so much to share! I want people to know my story, and stories in between. I want everyone to know, that your passion doesn't have to die, you don't have to put your passions on hold, you can do anything you want and still raise a family. Still be there for your kids. Don't ever forget about yourself ! Your passion matters to. Whatever it is. It's never too late to start.
My writing has brought me many lessons, and has been a friend I can always turn to. I have left, and returned, more inspired than ever. It's a sense of peace, and quiet, a sense of serenity, and mind calming. It has helped in many ways—something I won't ever leave again. I discovered poetry, and rap from it. It's been away to escape, vent, cope, and just express myself. I hope you all find your passion, and go for it, because the only thing stopping you is yourself.