Duran

How this man (not the music group) got me to wake tf up!

I once met a man, his name was Duran. I know, awful, who would start a story with a rhyme. Duran was the type of character that needed a rhyme to introduce him, the fabulous being he seemed to be.

He interviewed at a restaurant in central Denver that I had been wanting to leave for months. Hired on the spot. Management never made that call, he must have been quite an asset. He showed up for his first day dressed to impress with a supreme knowledge in the service industry. My higher ups had a lot to say about him. I had learned, through mostly eavesdropping, that he lived in Italy for a year, and his Italian wine and food knowledge was outstanding. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing working here. A snarky thought that masked the envy and insecurity that stewed.

At that point in my life I didn't see Duran for what he was, a mirror and a lesson for consciousness. Looking back now I can laugh at this era in my life as the philosopher Eckhart Tolle's words cloud my brain,"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."

Duran was a con man, a wonderful salesman with crocodile shoes and the smile to match. He talked of lavish life and carried himself in such a manner that you would believe anything he said. After one week of his presence, the colored pools of truth came through. He gossiped, made trouble between employees, made a bad name for the establishment by selling very pricy wine and hiding it from the guest until after they drank a whole bottle. He complained about everything he could think of and half assed the regular necessary work. He really was of no use to any part of our community and soon became one of the more despised employees. Unfortunately for us, he could talk the talk and pretended to walk the walk when management was around so it became our fault when he didn't feel like anyone liked him.

I could feel the hate in my words when I talked about the man. What I was too shy to understand at that moment was that I was in hate and judgment of myself. I worked several more jobs without realizing till years later. I was a Duran in training, and I wasn't capable of understanding this until I was fired for the 4th time. I was cocky, entitled, and greedy. I stepped on others to get what I wanted, I caused a whole lot of unnecessary drama. Not to mention no one really liked me. I had worked at 4 more places since my encounter with Duran. I was of no use to any community I threw myself in. I had become a con man and I couldn't see the delusional front I put before every action. I was motivated out of fear and insecurity.

Years later I sit at a job I've been at for two and a half years now. A job that I don't consider "work." A job that I know I am blessed to have, working with people I love to see. I am no longer the person people talk about, good or bad. I live below the radar, and for once it's has given me more joy than any attention I received in the past.

The universe placed Duran in my life at the point to show me what I could become had I continued to live that way. I ignored the signs and took on that role. It took years of suffering and a pretty gnarly blow to my ego to change. As soon as I gave up the idea that I had to be important I joined the winning side and became an important part of a community. As soon as I let go of control at the work place and let things go the way they are supposed to, the veil of delusion melted away.

This journey from selfish desires the selfless action and thinking has been a process in all areas of my life. I needed Duran and the many others that continue to follow him with lessons. I needed the alteration in my ego in order to show up as a better human.

Today I don't resent Duran. I am grateful for the lesson he provided. Everything is going to turn out as it is supposed to, regardless of my resistance, or my acceptance. The world will continue to spin, and today my life can be perfect if I choose to accept my circumstances.

For the readers, I hope you have a Duran and I hope you are awake enough to see him for who he is; A direct representation of yourself. 

Amy G.
Amy G.

I like to write. Mostly on personal experience. I love to read. I am a millennial. I put too much thought into horoscopes. Thinking about space gives me anxiety. This is my only form of creativity. Recovering addict and alcoholic. 

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Duran