Confessions From a Bridal Stylist

It's the most important day of your life... so far. Every bride believes she will never have another day so special. While that is partially true, I wasn't allowed to point out the average bride is in her early 20s. She has many milestones ahead of her. Her wedding day will always be special, but bigger days are coming. I was forever silent about the years to come, and much more, until now.

As a bridal stylist, your first goal is to make the bride happy. This means making her feel comfortable with the process of searching for "the dress." Brides have two extremes:

1. She knows exactly what she wants. She has a picture, or style number, that you must match perfectly.
2. She has no clue what she is looking for.

If it was only the bride, and yourself, involved, the process would be much easier. However, we all know no bride shops alone. The term "Bridezilla" is often thrown around behind the bride's back.

The real problem, and the number one reason a bridezilla is born, starts with the people that come with her to watch her put on a bridal fashion show.

First Impressions

When I would greet a bride, I made it clear she was my number one priority. I asked questions about her wedding, the groom to be, and what she was looking for. Somewhere in the first five minutes someone would interrupt us. Usually a MOB (mother of the bride) and she was almost always speaking for her daughter. Cue the hidden eye roll from the bride. The bride would study a dress, turning her back on the MOB, but I would catch the look.

"Wine?" I would offer drinks and usher the bridal party to have a seat in their private section of the store. As they settle in to the wine, and await the fashion show to start, I would whisper to the bride.

"So what do you really want? This is your day, and your dress. Not your Mom's." Most brides sighed in relief. She knew I was on her side. Before she could answer, the MOB would walk over and begin pulling gowns from the rack. Often in sizes too small or large. Her comments about her daughter's perfect figure would bring more hidden eye rolls.

That's when I began playing double agent. Suggesting we stay in the correct size, or designer section. I would politely point out features on gowns I knew would steer the MOB away to other, bride approved options.

That wasn't the hard part, or shocking part, that came when it was time to get the bride into the dressing room.

Victoria, I do not need to know all your secrets!

When you go shopping with me,I don't have boundaries. This comes from years of being shoved into a room with mostly naked women. I don't think about touching body parts without asking. Why? I've tapped boobs, butts, ran my hand under layers of garments in personal places, and seen more piercings, tattoos and body hair than I can remember.

Because of that, I have two major request of brides to be.

Your hygiene matters. Ladies, take a shower before you go to your bridal appointment. Put on deodorant, spray some perfume on yourself, wash your hair. Do you know what it is like to be the next bride in a dressing room after a lady that did not shower? All the febreeze in the world can't cover some odors. Many times I was forced to "air out gowns" off the sales floor because the last person to wear it had bad hygiene. Give the next appointment a nice, clean smelling, dressing room.

Speaking of appointments, we once got a bad review for asking the brides to wear undergarments to the appointment. Let me be blunt when I say this; wearing underwear is important. Think about it. Your lack of underwater Puts your naked skin on gowns other Brides will be trying on. Many gowns we put one over the head for fitting purposes. A new bride is now pulling fabric over her face that your naked bits rubbed all over. GROSS! Not to mention the risk of spreading diseases.

Also, I can deal with seeing endless boobs and butts all day. However, your down under region is not something I want to come face to face with as I put gowns on you. Don't get offended when your asked to wear undergarments to your fitting. It is better for all parties that you do.

Trust me! I know what I am doing.

This is often the most stressful time of your appointment; while the bride parades out in gown after gown, I silently observe her features.

We have a saying in the bridal world, the golden rule of looking for the dress.

"Never judge a gown by its hanger." I promise they look better on a body than hanging in strange ways. If designers meant for them to hang, well, models would not exist.

I developed a few lines to coax a bride to try something on.

"We just got this in and I am dying to see it one someone. Would you just try it on so I can see it?" By now the bride and I have had plenty of private time in the dressing room. She trusts me to a point. She would usually try on the gown, and fall for it, after my little unbiased push.

I once had a bride scream at me because I suggested she try on a gown out of her comfort zone. She had the height and waist to pull it off. I'd been waiting for the perfect bride to walk in for this gown.

"I don't want to look trashy, b****!" She shouted. The bridal party looked at me apologetically. With an apology, I did not make any more suggestions to her. She ended up in a ball gown that made her look like a short, and overweight, child.

Trust your stylist.We see these gowns on many body types and know what we are doing.

Saying Yes to the Dress!

The moment is real. The bride steps out of the dressing room, and onto the platform, and her face lights up. The bridal party is silent for the first time, and I would have a silent second of victory. She's found her dress!

The the MOB would get over her silence and begin to critique every small thing she could. Loose beads, the laced corset, how the fabric laid, pricing, etc. The bride's face would begin to fall, and I had only seconds to save her happy moment. What I wanted to do was tell the MOB to shut her mouth, and let her daughter enjoy the moment, but instead, I did damage control. I urge to MOB to sit down, pour her another glass of wine, and begin to add accessories. The veil is what normally stops the MOB's constant criticism. At that point she knows she's lost the battle for control over the gown selection.

To satisfy the MOB I would offer discounts for any loose beads, give package deal, and bridesmaids discounts. She would eventually hand over her credit card, and bridezilla would become the happy bride again.