Born to Lead

I was born in Kenya in Mombasa and ever since I could remember I lived with my grandma, BiSaida, a beautiful petite lady with a great smile and charisma and my grandpa, babuSaid a safari guide. Most of the time he was away because of his job, but when he returned he brought bush meat, from what could have been any animal. They were great times.

In the Kenya school grounds, we had to speak English, which was the number one rule at that time, and it had to be the Queen’s English, or we got punished. I loved going to school, but I used to find it challenging at times. It seems like I had to compete with A star students and the only thing that motivated me to study was so I wasn’t beaten by the teachers. I hated being hit and seeing others going through it so I would always try to be a good girl most of the time. I was still in middle place in my grades and I wished to be the first in the class, but at that age, I didn’t believe I was smart enough like the other students which caused me to be envious of them.

In my primary school when I was younger I used to love watching the teachers; the way that they presented themselves, from the clothes they wore, makeup, posture, the tone of their voice, the strength they would carry around with them. I was intrigued by their demeanour and confidence. When there was no one around especially in the afternoon when people were napping, I would take my blackboard and long stick outside and pretended to be a teacher. The rocks on the ground were my students, and if they didn’t listen they’d must get punished in the same way as the teachers did it in school. My first ever dream was that I wanted to become a teacher.

When I moved to live in Zanzibar Unguja at the age of 12, I had to go to private school, and I was always the first in my class. I was so excited and out of my mind with gratitude to find that every subject was very easy because Kenya was more educationally advanced than Zanzibar. When I went to high school, I was amazed to find people in their 20s in the same class as me because I was only 15 and I started to understand the way that people saw life, especially girls. They had the opinion that there was no future for them as whatever they learned they couldn’t use because they would get married, have children, go to weddings and funerals, or get old and die.

I didn’t agree with that at all, but then I asked myself what else is there that I can have?

I made a promise to myself to study hard and show them that I was worthy to stay in school and be fit for a job and not just any job, but a career where I could grow and get the highest position, as well as, have my own home, business and to build a family with someone that I love and who would love me too. I made a plan and I discovered my dreams.

A year later I was taken out of school as I became engaged and my world changed drastically. Everyone was so excited for me, but all I could see was my plans and dreams being crushed. I couldn’t do anything about it, as I was just 16 years old and was embarking on the journey of my life.

I arrived in London in the year 2000 and straight away I became pregnant with my daughter, and then a year later I had my son, so they were born very close together. I didn’t want any more children and I became very focused on my family and not on myself for four years until my children started school. I joined a parents group, and we did textile in embroidery, crochet, sewing, and other different things that we made for Christmas presents. And for the first time I went to a canary wharf office building to sell our goods. We all made a significant profit and I got paid for the first time in my life. I made three hundred pounds but it felt like three million pounds for me at the time and I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it, and that is when I fell in love with sales.

When my son was a baby, I saw something on the television about police community support officers and something inside of me awoke and suddenly an idea came to me. What if I were to apply to become one? At that time, I couldn’t ask for the constable position as I felt that I was not entirely worthy of the role yet or that I qualified for it. I talked to my husband about it as he was employed by the police but his answers were not significant and were very dismissive so I dismissed any thoughts of applying.

When my children started full-time school, I had more free time and I began to think about what I wanted to do and I remembered my first ever dream that came to me but because I didn’t finish my schooling, I could not become a teacher like I always wanted to be. I started volunteering as a teaching assistant in primary and secondary schools and nurseries for children with disabilities. I did not like it, as I found that it wasn’t for me but I still was proud of following it up and knowing that I made it happen and so I moved on.

I saw the advertisement again for becoming a police community support officer, and I could not stop thinking about becoming a sergeant and then eventually becoming a detective. It would be great to be able to help all those people, and I could buy a home, and we would all live happily into our old age. I knew my husband did not like the idea of me becoming a police officer, but I had a plan, and I was excited to show him, what I saw in my vision and in the plans, I had made.

My sister in law helped me with my application, and I passed. I could not believe it. I got through to the interview process but failed as I was so nervous and worried that I was not experienced enough because I was only 20 years old and I didn’t think that I was educated enough to be a police community support officer. I did not give up though and I tried again and this time I passed my interview but unfortunately, I failed my written test because of too many mistakes in my grammar and spelling. Every time I failed I had to wait for six months before reapplying again and at that time things were not good with my marriage because I wanted a career and my husband wanted help with bills, so he wanted me to do simple jobs. I had a dream and plans so I could not give up, but at the same time, I understood that he needed support financially, so I went to a recruitment company for help. I was also looking online for jobs as well, and I found a social worker vacancy, but unfortunately, I could not apply as I did not have a degree, GCSE’s or A levels.

I decided that I would go back to college and get the equivalent of GCSE/ BTEC whilst I was waiting for the six months to pass, and then I could reapply again to become a police community support officer. I went back to the recruitment company for some support in finding a job to keep the peace at home whilst quietly still focusing on getting the job that I really wanted. At the recruitment office, I was asked to choose what position I wanted and some of the choices they gave me were in either IT, cleaner, or hospitality. There were two that popped up in my head that I was interested in, IT and hospitality. I compared the two and quickly decided that hospitality was for me because I came from a big family and so it would feel quite easy for me. When I thought of IT, I did not know where to start with it and that scared me as it would be very challenging. I figured that if I went with a safe choice I would get the job as I did no doubt about hospitality.

When I looked at the structure of hospitality, I knew that there was a way I could grow within the company and reach management level and then I could change my career if I wanted to so I made another plan at that time.

I decided that a catering job working as a hospitality assistant was my plan B as I still wanted to continue to apply to become a PCSO. I felt like every time I took one step forward I would also fail again. After I failed the written test and reapplied again, I went to role play and failed again. I applied again and went through to fitness and passed everything except the bleep test. I found myself losing my focus on the turning point. I was advised to run without stopping to build my stamina. I had never run or jogged before, but I had to learn. The closest park to where I lived was Victoria Park. As I began, I started by giving myself a small target of gate to gate since I was easily becoming out of breath and I wanted to learn to run before I could jog. It took me eight months to jog the whole park twice. That is the equivalent of six miles, and I was a leaner person who had great stamina and I was ready to take the bleep test when the time came. On the final run, I stopped and when the bell rang whilst everyone else was congratulating each other, the others just looked at me with sad faces. I had the biggest smile because I had a moment of clarity because when I was running all I could hear was my husband’s negativity about the job and I stopped because I did not want to prove him wrong, so I had self-sabotaged myself. For the first time in my life, I decided to grow a backbone. I took responsibility for my actions and I decided that I was no longer going to feel like a victim and that there was much more for me to learn.

I continued working hard in my role and I was like a sponge absorbing all the training that I was given and I asked for more responsibilities because I wanted to grow. I wanted to prove that I was worthy of the in-house promotion. I really wanted to be a supervisor so badly. When I became qualified for my role I continued to show my loyalty for the company that I worked for and wanted to stay with them, but nothing much was changing in my job. Before I knew it, I had been in my role for seven years and I was still waiting for the title on paper rather than just words. I trained many supervisors who came and went but who never stayed for long and I asked myself why to do I stay working for a company that never acknowledges me? When I came to this country I was told on many occasions that when you work for a great company that you can grow if you show willingness to learn, take more responsibilities, and put in action by working hard and this is what I did. But it just wasn’t working for me. Someone said to me it was because of my colour that I had not received the promotions, others said it was because I’m not an ass-licker and that I had to become a two-faced person just to fit in. I did not want to hear or believe in any of it. I wanted to be real. What you see is what you get, and that is enough for me so that I can be the best person for the job. I kept working at my job, and the way I work is on point. I am always professional but I’m not too strict about it and after work I’d enjoy a laugh and joke around with my work colleagues. When the building where I worked had some refurbishments, I asked if I could move to another unit so I can gain some new skills and gain some different experiences that I could bring back to my current job. It took over a year of me bouncing from one unit to another, and I could not wait to reunite with the team that I worked with as I had become very close friends which made it harder to leave the guaranteed income as well every month.

I became a supervisor in another place, out of London but could not keep the job for long as I had a few near missed accidents on several different occasions. On one of these occasions, I was so tired and I nearly fell asleep at the wheel of my car, the second time I lost focus for a second and I ended up on the other side of the road. It also happened on the motorway, and I did criss-cross for a while until I told myself that there’s a break for a reason and I must use them. When I looked at my mirrors, I was so thankful that there was no one on the road at that time of night. The last time when I was driving in the dark and there was only me on the road. I was driving fast, and there were bends that I did not anticipate. I nearly lost myself, and that was the time I had to stop torturing myself and stay in London and stick with a tube or bus as it was a much safer option.

I came back to my unit, and that year we had nearly five general managers coming and going, all different kinds of people. Some of them saw something in me that I didn't see in myself and they could not stay to see that come to life and some pushed me to my limits. At that time, I was going through a divorce and was demoted by someone who I thought was a close friend to me. They were apparently working against me but I wasn’t ready to quit yet, so I decided to stay with the company. I could not smile at people who stabbed me in the back, so I asked to be moved. I was excited when a management position became available and I took it with both hands. It would make a difference in my life and I’d gain new experience. I enjoyed my new job and I was there for nearly a year before going on holiday with my children and then the unit closed but I had great reviews, and when I returned from my holiday, I went back to work at my old unit which I found very uncomfortable. On the same day, I was given an opportunity to move again. I did, and it was the right move since it was near where I lived so I could walk home from work. It was great, but I felt that there was something missing. Even though I worked my way up to management and changed my career as I had planned, I lost my passion for my job. Now, I was had enrolled in a beauty and therapy course and I made a promise to myself that I would never work for anyone else again.

In early 2016, I was on the tube after a long day at work and was sat next to a lady that who was worried that she had taken the wrong train. Me being me, I decided to assist her and started talking to her and I found out that she lived outside of London. She was a beautician and was in London for an event at the weekend. She invited me to attend and since I was looking to change my career and was hungry for a new opportunity that would change my life I decided to go. I went to the event, and it was mind-blowing. What the speaker said made so much sense to me and I could not stop thinking, me too. He is one of the founders of the network marketing company, and I was happy to join in as I could see the products were great and valuable and I could see myself selling them and being a part of a great team. I joined one of the best teams with high charisma, willing to support reliable business partners and built my own team. I had to go to different events and network to get new leads, that took me to success resources in Excel London. It was beautiful, and on a cold early morning I arrived early on the first day and could not wait to mingle with lots of different people that day. I made friends very quickly and couldn’t wait to get in as I wanted to be on the front row so that I wouldn’t miss anything, especially as this was my first ever event in the self-development world that I was attending. I was listening to everything they said and did. All the speakers that came on stage were men, and I asked myself why there weren't any women speakers. In that moment, I had a vision of myself speaking on stage at the Excel London, making a significant impact on people's lives. When Andy Harrington showed his strategy on how to become a speaker, it seemed so simple and a great way to inspire, influence, and motivate others. On that day, I met great people that became friends for life.

Months passed before I took my children to meet their grandma, my second mother as my grandma brought me up, and it was their first-time meeting in Kenya. With everything that was going on at home I wanted them to have a great holiday that they would never forget. We went to Tanzania, Zanzibar, back to Kenya, and then to London. I was not ready to drop it. I had a goal to achieve, no matter what, so I quit my job. It was scary, but I had to close that door so that I could receive the new opportunities I had coming ahead of me. I started my course, and by December, I choose to study so that I could achieve the qualifications that I wanted. I was not ready to drop it. I had a goal I was going to follow through with it no matter what. I passed my course and was ready for the clients but when I got the clients I found that the money I earned was not enough to pay my bills and feed my children. I had to decide to go back to work for a company to help me build my business. It took me nearly nine months to solve some of my financial problems and get myself into a safe zone.

During the month of December 2016, I heard of an event and wanted to go but I did not have enough money to buy a ticket. I prayed to god that someone would invite me and a few days before the event Karmin Meckael/Habibi, one of the strongest business women I know, that plays an important part in my life, got in touch and invited me to the event. I was over the moon and was so grateful to her. I went to that event to allow myself to let go of everything that was not working for me and to let all the great things come into my life. I met great people, leaders with great stories and learned coaching techniques that made me hungrier to become one of them and learn from them. I joined the FSA (Fearless Speaker Academy) community and met with many great people who became family and business partners, who have the passion, will to grow and change people’s lives, and help them find their purpose.

My dream came true in 2017 when I spoke at Excel London with expo, the subject was Turn Passion into Profit and it was what I was born for, to lead and share what I experienced with others who wanted to make a difference in their life. 2017 has been a year of dreams come true, and I see my life changing every day. I get to witness the lives of others being changed as I work with children and adults in partnerships with mastering their power within. I work with great ladies such as Safiya Mohamed and Fatou Kassam-Bayo, who are driven, energised, and ready for greatness. I am so happy and grateful for all I have been through and that I am still going strong.

From the day I was born to the day I’m writing this, I have gained new skills, great experiences, learned some great lessons, and I'm still laughing. I feel love and share it to everyone I meet and I am living with all the blessings.

When I look back in my life, I see strength, resilience, no regrets, and no grudges because all I had to learn was to love myself more and to find out what works for me and what does not and to stop fighting the inevitable as what will be, will be. Gratitude, affirmations, visualization, action, and meditation are my primary guide to living a life. I choose to be proud of myself even in my wrong choices as something good will always fill the blank spaces.

Watch out for my book coming out in 2018 about my story and the techniques I have used to transform my life and become the most significant woman who will leave a legacy for my children and to the people I have supported, laughed with, and worked with.

Thank you for this beautiful moment that you are in.

My name is Barke Kamuss. I am a mother of two, an empowerment coach and speaker, and a workshop facilitator. My mission is to inspire, empower and influence others to live their life on purpose and to create leaders to be their own hero whilst making a living from what we're great at. Most of all, I want to leave a legacy for my children and others. As a beauty therapist and network marketer are working in partnership with me as empowerment speaking and coaching our youth, adults and children in the education system I am all about multiple streams of income implementing different skills and knowledge to have more freedom to spread your wings.