Working While Black

Does Carol keep making jokes about being as dark as you last summer? Are you tired of the phrase "I don't see color"? Did your boss vote for Trump? Here's some music to get you through the day without catching a case.

The dread starts around 9 PM every Sunday. As I prepare for work a knot builds in my stomach. I put off setting the alarm and packing my lunch. It's not a typical case of the Monday feeling; it's a mixture of fear, humiliation, fury, and exhaustion all surrounding a simple moral conundrum, I am going to work for a white woman who voted for Trump and, amid all of the fallout, still supports him.

She's never called me a racial slur or denied me a promotion; in fact, she gushes about my performance. Truth be told, I work in an office setting with very polite people. They offer to buy me coffee and refill my printer, they inquire about my IKEA furniture and my nephew's first birthday, but I know that under all of the politeness, there's something else. I hear it in their complaints about welfare, in the way they whisper "black" when describing someone and in their blind support of corrupt murderous police officers as the office discussion turns inevitably to current events and in how the professional dress code only seems to apply to me. The trouble with this kind of racism is that it is good at hiding and it's widely accepted so any objection would be met with accusations of sensitivity and possibly hostility. The unspoken rule is that I, the fly in the milk, am to quietly accept this casual racism because it is not the brand that comes with white hoods and confederate flags. In fact, sometimes I am convinced that they don't consider their perspectives to be racist simply because of that same fact. So here I am, sitting at my desk on yet another Monday trying to find an outlet to keep me from walking out of that door. Ultimately the truth I grapple with Monday through Friday is that I am generating profit for someone who has over the past year complained loudly about "illegal immigrants," "reverse racism," and " the Obama regime." Being the only Black person in an office setting is a brand new experience for me and often it's hard to cope.

I could just leave, but where will I go? Of course, I have dreams I'm chasing but in the meantime, the bills have to be paid. So here I am in the space between achieving my dreams and paying the rent looking for something to keep me on track. What I know for sure is that I am not alone. I exchange pleasantries every day with someone who probably doesn't see me as a full human being and chances are more often than not, if you are broke and Black in America, you do too. This is no way to suggest that all Black folks in America have the same lived experience. However, as I have spoken to friends and family about the daily micro-aggressions that I face, I hear the similar experiences echoed back to me constantly, and to be totally frank, I don't have a solution but what I do have is a Tidal subscription and a love for music. So while it's not a solution, I hope you can find a little solace in the nine songs that put a little light in my life as I navigate the murky and eerily still waters of working while Black in America.

1. 'Violet Stars Happy Hunting!' - Janelle Monae

This gem from Janelle Monae's Metropolis is a perfect morning pick me up. Drown out the sound of your coworkers chatting about how much All Lives Matter with the funky and engrossing world of Cindi Mayweather, an android on the run after falling in love, an activity that is strongly forbidden in this world where Cyborgs and humans interact.

2. 'Living Proof' - Kelis

Keeping the feel good alternative vibes going, this love song from Kelis Was Here is a spirit lifting track that is a great choice for responding to your condescending supervisor's passive aggressive emails about your hair. It's a positive groove on cruise control that is sure to calm your nerves.

3. 'Feels Good' - Tony! Toni! Tone!

Need a little classic RnB to combat the classic colorblind argument of your clueless cube mate? Look no further than this upbeat throwback jam. This song is a great catalyst for a shoulder shimmy and is one of those songs that makes you want to move and smile. It also has the added bonus of making Kyle's soliloquy about his very bestest black friend in the third grade simply background noise.

4. 'Talking Bout A Revolution' - Tracy Chapman

I'd be a terrible Queer person if I didn't recommend a little Tracy Chapman. This song is filled with hope and truth delivered through the rich timbre of Chapman's voice. For me, it is a reminder that change is happening and it grounds me on days when I just want to get up and walk out... that and bills... Bills are grounding too.

5. 'I Get Out (Live)' - Lauryn Hill

This song earns its spot on the list for Lauryn's endearing mistake after the first chunk of the song alone. Beyond that, it is a thought provoking melodic masterpiece. Live vicariously through Hill's biting social commentary as you avoid the office chatter about "unprofessional names."

6. 'Formation' - Beyonce

... I mean, duh.

7. 'Honey' - Erykah Badu

This transformative hip-hop inspired cut from New Amerykah is the perfect song to inspire a little shoulder shimmy as you count down the minutes until you can clock out and consider another day without quitting a success.

8. 'Switch!' - Jazmine Sullivan

Looking for a playful distraction from Just a Joke Jim and his off color jokes? Jazmine Sullivan's "Switch!", a tale of a hilarious dating faux pas, is the perfect escape.

9. 'Everything' - Fefe Dobson

Alright, so hear me out, everybody can benefit from a sing-along ready pop song and this Canadian Alt-Pop start is a remarkable candid for a little desk karaoke. Have a little lip-sync party at your desk and remember that black joy is revolutionary.